Grass-fed, fucked, & finished.

femininity, sensuality, womanhood, desire, culture, social media, divine feminine, homogeneous society

“It is the years; “in the field of life”, learning & unlearning for myself what actually works for me, & what doesn’t. It wasn't a column in Cosmopolitan that told me how to ride my husband’s dick, it was time in the field learning that when I do that thing; with my, yeah… is when he reaches God, & I am blissfully fucked. It wasn’t a TikTok that told me that grass-fed butter was better for my gut health, hormones, & literal omega- 3 vitamin; it was feeling my body craving sources closer to nature, trying it, & finding success in it. It wasn’t an Ad that convinced me that filters & Instagram were destroying my confidence, it was turning my phone off & touching fucking grass.”

I always wondered what success in life would look like. Lately, I have discovered that to me success is; to eat nourishing home-grown local foods, marry/make love to your soul mate, travel to enchanted destinations, connect in a vibrant community, prioritize health & wealth, & be surrounded by loved ones. A simple & beautiful life. One that I am currently exercising by wielding all of the tools it’s taken; a decorative decade of lessons, for me to obtain. A life I have been dreaming up for half of a decade. Unfortunately for many women, it takes a lot of de-programming to achieve the reality of their choice & chase their dreams. It seems as though; as women, we are habitually force-fed formulas on how to “successfully” be a woman & how we can so, rapidly. Drifting us further from our connection to our desires & the pace in which we can reach them. We even question whose dreams we are living. On either side of the spectrum, we are seduced with methods to “up-level” our womanhood that; inevitably, further strays us from it. Yet on either end, we are left questioning whether we are successful… at being ourselves & why it is taking us so much time to get there? Something we are born as & chosen to be. Something that is; simply, our nature. Indestructible whimsical fibers of fire, passion, desire, & light; all woven intricately together to create this ethereal being who is a portal of life.

“NEW FILTER TO BLUR EVERY DISCOLORATION & WRINKLE”, “STAIR-MASTER 12x3x30 TO BURN FAT”, “HOW TO LEAVE HIM WANTING MORE”, “30 MINUTE MARRY ME CHICKEN RECIPE BELOW”, “OUTFITS THAT SNATCH YOUR WAIST”, “HOW TO LOSE 10 LBS IN 10 DAYS”, “FEMININE TRAITS MEN LOVE”, “FILLER PLACEMENTS TO LEAVE YOU SNATCHED TO THE GODS”, “ANIMAL DIET FOR HORMONE BALANCING”, “CORTISOL FACE”, “CLEAN GIRL AESTHETIC”, “HOW TO ATTRACT YOUR SOULMATE”. A slew of recipes slathered over every woman’s FYP. Posts that may not have negative intent; yet can overtime, naturally drive a wedge between a woman’s creativity & curiosity of self & further the focus to things outside of herself. This content delivered as a magic formula on how to be better at something you were divinely born as & already are.

This isn’t new. They have always shoved down our throats the ideology that we cannot rest in peace with ourselves yet, how we can constantly morph into new unrecognizable versions. As if we aren’t celestially designed to recast an infinite amount of times throughout the course of our lives. Every version a stamp in our existence of where are currently meeting ourselves in this journey of life. Women are being conditioned to seek out the experiences & beauty of others rather than intuitively turning inward, going out, celebrating, & experiencing life for themselves.

The tangible space between spirit & earth; the wisdom holders, the story keepers, the holder of generations… We hold the power of every woman that ever came before us & hold the space for the ones that will come after us. We are the coding to our entire lineage & all that follows, stems from us. We are naturally intuitive creatures, suppressed of our appetite to bite into ourselves with ravenous curiosity. For example; if you were to take a moment, right now to close your eyes. Think of how you pleasure yourself. Did you learn how to bring yourself to your highest state of pleasure by following a 10-step TikTok video? No, probably not. (Not that there aren’t teachers of such using social platforms as a form of education & connection). It’s the fact that you brought yourself there because you have taken the time to learn you & your body. Yeah? Because it is natural. The same goes for many other human actions. How we bathe, eat, sleep, love, admire self, comfort, & express, all derive from our ability to undergo our own experiences. To learn from them, & to also radically celebrate ourselves. Do you need the newest vibrator with 10 different sucking features or do you need an extra 30 minutes to give your hand a chance? Do you need another syringe of filler, or have you been staring at others faces to the point where your own is foreign? Do you need to follow another’s “What I Eat In A Day”, or do you need to eat your meals slowly without your phone & take notice to what makes you feel your most powerful? Life shouldn’t be about how expeditiously we can achieve our optimal “womanhood” yet, embracing the beautiful dance of trial, triumph, & error.

These musings came to when a video on my TikTok went some form of viral. A video with a similar message as this photo below:

“She must have the perfect concoction to success as a woman”…

I started to receive many inquiries on diet, lifestyle, beauty, etc. Daunting yet honored I aim to share authentically & truthfully. I don’t have the answers, but I do have my own. I love to inspire & to create ripples of positivity; but most importantly, through my radical genuineness. Passionate about sharing my voyages navigating how to honor intuition, live intuitively, & to execute the answers I unearth in the process. It isn’t about selling what I painted above; on how to be “better”, but simply what has brought me a version of success I didn’t know existed. Peace. We as women need to be reminded that we hold the power to our up-leveling by simply celebrating our divinity, & allowing ourselves the grace to be on our own timeline.

It was years of secretly wavering in veganism & denying my desires for a medium rare rib-eye. It was decades of dimming my sensuality for the comfort & approval of others, who suppress & are unfamiliar with their own. It was the hasty & desperate choice to fill my lips due to years of conditioning, reinforcing me that my face wasn’t “balanced”. Quick pause, what the hell is even a balanced face? Where in the flying fuck did they even come up with that? If you use one of those filters that matches one side of your face with the other, it’s terrifying when they are both in symmetry. Okay, unpause. It is the years; “in the field of life”, learning & unlearning for myself what actually works for me, & what doesn’t. It wasn't a column in Cosmopolitan that told me how to ride my husband’s dick, it was time in the field learning that when I do that thing; with my, yeah… is when he reaches God, & I am blissfully fucked. It wasn’t a TikTok that told me that grass-fed butter was better for my gut health, hormones, & literal omega- 3 vitamin; it was feeling my body craving sources closer to nature, trying it, & finding success in it. It wasn’t an Ad that convinced me that filters & Instagram were destroying my confidence, it was turning my phone off & touching fucking grass. Life lessons are no longer learned, they are sold. We are fed on how to reach our “successes” in life quickly, & what they should look like.. Success as a woman is being detached from any other narrative than our own. Success as a woman is learning our lessons at our own natural rhythm, & the lessons themselves to be worn as badges of wisdom that we proudly collect in our womb. We are being conditioned to stop exercising our birth right to experience life for ourselves. It is an exhaustive, revolutionary warfare on feminine existence. May we begin to recognize the stark contrast of what radically distances us from our divinity & into consumerism & what is feeding into this current homogeneous society. As a woman you have sovereignty over how you want to live & be; but it comes at the price of disconnecting from much of this new world. Much of what it feeds.

We deserve more. May we all learn lovingly & patiently, what & who we are. May we welcome these seasons of change with ease, an open mind, & an even more open heart. May we find the courage to greet time as a friend, & study what is needed for our individual unique journeys. Accept that our timeline may differ from another, & that can be celebrated as well. That our beauty is meant to be contrastingly eccentric. Not one looking like the same. That our journey with food & nourishment isn’t a one-size fits all formula for efficiency; but a relationship built on comfort, culture, creation, fuel, & peace. It has taken me half a decade of failure & triumph to figure out what works best for me, my lifestyle, my existence. May we have the tenacity to live without echos, yet grounded in a religion of self exploration & curiosity.

It took me; as much time as it need, to know that:

I love my meat medium rare & grass-fed. I prefer a day where I am lovingly fucked. & on a day where I have both; well, I feel finished.